A table invention from asia

Did you know that they knighted a guy from Indochina for inventing napkins!

Sir Viet!

Batteries?

I went to the shops the other day and they were giving away flat batteries, free of charge.

who says mexicans, religion and alcohol dont mix?

i heard about a church, just near me, that is trying something quite unusual.

they are setting up a pub, just for scripture teachers (also known as RE or Religious Education here in Qld). Anyways... this pub is manned totally by mexicans!
its an
AREEEBAH!! - like speedy gonzalez used to say
(r-e-bar)

New School!

I heard about a new school today, its giving farmers a lot of free time
at this school they teach you how to milk 60 cows in just one minute!
its a secondary school!
(second-dairy school)

One of my life goals achieved

After years of going to the dentist and being disappointed everytime, I can with some excitment announce that tomorrow I am seeing the dentist. What time is my appointment, I hear you ask?

2:30!!

(tooth hurty)

Classic Advice from Paris Hilton

The other day I was walking down the street when I noticed Paris Hilton eating at a little cafe. As I walked closer I noticed that she was gnawing on a rather large, rodent-like creature.
I couldn't hold my curiosity.
"What are you doing?", I questioned the heiress.
"Oh, well... I have had a bad headache all day. So I asked a friend of mine what I should do..."
He replied simply...
"Paracetamol" (paris-eat-a-mole)

Some jokes need to be punished...

Sometimes, against our better judgement, we commit crimes against humour. Puns that just slip out and damage the way our friends, our families and workmates feel about our humour preferences.

The Punitentiary is a place where bad puns can be safely locked away, to be studied and reflected upon, so that we may advance as a civilisation. And who knows? One day, maybe one day, they may even be rehabilitated enough to make us laugh.

Let the pun begin!